Wednesday, August 5, 2009


Working to be Better

I’m trying to become a better person. I really really am. How am I doing this? I’m trying to go to be earlier. I struggle so much with mornings. I truly hate my circadian rhythm. I know other people say they hate mornings… but on average most people seem to deal with it. I’m not one of them. I’m always late to work in the mornings… basically resetting my work schedule by an hour. This has become expected and so my supervisor does not care. But, I do. I hate it.
When I came back from Moldova my timing was all off. I was going to bed at 7:30 or 8 and getting up at 5:00. It was fantastic. I got so much done that way and I got to work on time and I got to leave work on time and it was fantastic…. But those times are gone. I am no longer doing that.

So Sunday I decided that’s it, I’m resetting my circadian rhythm. Is that officially possible, I don’t know. Anyway, I decided my new bedtime would be 9 p.m. I’ve put forth effort every night but every night I fail. Sunday night I made the mistake of starting the movie North and South (the BBC version) I’ve seen it before so I thought I’d have no problem turning it off. I was wrong. Once I saw Mr. Thornton… I knew I’d have to watch through at least the first DVD. So bed time on Sunday… 11:30. Not good. Monday night my effort was a bit stronger. T.V. was off by 9:30… (had to watch the 2nd DVD of Mr. Thornton.) Listen if you’ve seen that movie, you will understand. Wow! It’s good. I didn’t make it to bed until a little after 10 and I know I was asleep by 10:30. Still, I didn’t get to work until 9 the next morning. Tuesday night I made an effort again. I rewatched the last 20 mins of North and South twice because seriously, it’s yummy! Turned off the t.v. by 9. But, unfortunately I decided to internet stalk Richard Amritage for a bit. That took about 45 mins. My efforts were not for naught however because I found this very delightful bedtime story.

See, don’t you love him to0? Do you want to move to the U.K. with me so we can be closer to him? Even after seeing that video I made it to bed and asleep by 10:00. Good right… only I woke up at 2:00 and didn’t make it back to sleep until 4:30. So again… didn’t get to work until 9:00. I’ve almost lost hope. But, I’m not giving up. I must be a better person… or at least feel a little better about myself. I have to get a grip on this. I'm going to keep trying.

BTW there are other bed time stories by Richard Armitage... but I think I'll save them for later. Sigh. It's a good way to go to sleep.

Have you read about the sleeptracker watches? I hear good things about using them to wake you up.

I know how you feel, though I'm not completely useless in the mornings. I am horribly unpleasant until 10am. I can ALWAYS sleep between 6AM and 10AM, but even if I've been up for days, I often can't get to sleep at normal, human times.
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