chickintheham

I’m going to see Pierce Pettis tonight. You have no idea what a miracle this is. As I mentioned yesterday… I love him but I’ve been wavering about actually going to his concert. This was for various reasons. But, yesterday it did start hitting me… you can’t miss him. Then this morning… it was almost like a panic set in… my mind was racing, “You have to see Pierce.” But, who at this late notice would/could go. I have a couple of Pierce loving friends but I wasn’t sure that was a possibility for other various reasons… I have another friend who likes coffee shop type concerts only… she is responsible and this show isn’t starting until 9. Why must concerts start at 9? Not everyone is young you know. Some folks have to get up early. The one person I thought I might could ask at the last minute… has to be at work at 5 a.m. in the morning… a 9 o’clock show where Pierce probably won’t even take the stage until 10 is no good for her.

I have another friend that likes Pierce but I think for his reputation’s sake he doesn’t hang out with me so much… only if it’s a group activity. I don’t know how else to really say that or…. Maybe he just doesn’t like to hang out with me. Hmmm that might be the crueler (more likely) scenario. Either way, I knew he was not an option.

But, I just got an invite from a couple of folks going. Holy Cow! I so didn’t see that coming. In a million years, I didn’t see that coming. That’s why I call it a miracle. We could call it the Pierce Pettis miracle of 09. I think that would work. J I also think it is proof that God loves me. That he sees even the smallest desires of my heart and takes note. I absolutely talked to God about the concert earlier this morning… asking that I wouldn’t have to regret not going so much and now I’m going. There is no other way to spin it. Seriously, me going to see Pierce tonight is a God thing. I must call it as I see it. Thank you God for loving me.

If you know me, you know I love music. I have no talent for it; but, I love it. There are so many great concerts coming to town this fall and so many new albums coming out that I simply don’t think I can keep up. In fact, I know I can’t

I’ve already resigned myself that I will not be going to all the concerts. Even If I had friends to go with me to them all… I just don’t think I can pull it off. I just can’t be out that much. I need sleep. I need peace. I need quiet… this is who I’ve become. So I’ve got my concert goals… These include, Eric Peters and Bill Mallonee coming in a couple of weeks; Derek Webb towards the end of Sept, NeedToBreath in October, and MuteMath in early November. After that… I’ll be done. I’m also going to the Glory Reveled concert this Sunday… I sort of wish I could back out of that one… not because it won’t be good… but because I have to work on Saturday and I’m just whooped.

Saturday night the great Pierce Pettis is in town. I’ve made no plans to go see him. As you know, if you’ve been reading my blog for a while. I love Pierce. He is the author of one of my 5 all time favorite of favorite songs. He wrote God Believes in You. Such a good song. I’m a little sad I’ve no plans to see him. I wonder on Saturday if I’ll be plagued with regret. I think I will. Oh well, what can you do?

As I mentioned earlier a lot of great new albums are out as well…. I’ve bought none of them. As you know, I’m sort of a recovering hoarder so I’m trying to think twice about physical things that come into my house. BUT that doesn’t mean I can’t get them on my iPod. My new music needs include Pierce Pettis, Matthew Mayfield, Eric Peters, Mindy Smith, MuteMath, Derek Webb, Dave Matthews, Mitch McVicker and NeedtoBreath. Feel free to give me iTunes gift cards for Christmas… or Labor Day. In the mean time I would like to thank PASTE for having Mindy Smith’s new work streaming. Hoorah for them.

Last week I had a break down. I think it was good for me… I mean it was a little ugly but it was good…. Because, I went a little bezerk , my blessed student workers stepped in and stepped up and helped to uncover me from research questions and unprocessed rat poop infested boxes of stuff. We got a lot done. Sadly there are still over 1600 boxes of unprocessed stuff. But for now about 2/3 of them are out of my sight… out of sight out of mind… breath normally. No problem. AND I’ve got no ASAP research requests plaguing me AND my supervisor is back. I don’t have to be totally responsible anymore. When I don’t know something… the buck doesn’t stop with me… I have someone I can ask. Hoorah!

Two library school student interns started this week. I’ve spent a great deal training them. I have such high hopes for them. Seriously, it’s like a weight lifted off of my chest. They are going to be processing fools for me…. And oddly enough… they are excited about this. Yippie…fresh, bright-eyed, eager help. I hope I don’t destroy that for them. I hope they still what to be archivists when I finish with them. I am not trying to kill them I promise. I haven’t even given them rat infested boxes… Although, I will be… hehehe… but only so they see the good with the bad. But, I started them off with fantastic things.

One intern got this collection of family diaries going back to the civil war. The detail about the war in them is fantastic. It’s an unbelievable collection. We have a lot of stuff that dates back to the Civil War… but oddly enough… they don’t often always mention the war. Strange but true… I guess I hardly ever talk about what is going on now a-days in the stuff I write… In 100 years, if someone read my journal, what they’d learn is that I was a nut… they’d get nothing about what is happening over in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Anyway, that is an update on my state of mind. In case it’s not clear… I still have a mind. My ovaries are still kicking my butt though… I grow more and more bitter about them. It seems their sole purpose in my life is misery. Blayck! Anyway, I’m still trying to figure out what to do about that and the medicine. I guess I will just try and be grateful that I don’t have other problems, like I’m not going to turn into that sad, lost, and crazy young man that killed all those poor folks at VA Tech. You don’t have to worry about that happening in my life.

AND God is good!

Well dang it! just blogged and my computer ate it! It was a lot of complaining really so maybe it's for the best.

The lost blog ended however with this youtube clip. It sort of sums my life up right now... only this fellow is a bit more upbeat. It's from the BBC show Black Book. I swear if I was a bookstore owner and not a librarian... this would be me! Only, I don't think I'm that grumpy... just overwhelmed. I went off the deep end this morning and sadly I have no intentions of climbing back up at the moment... no point.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuX2UgYjtTE

oh wait... here it is.... the lost blog... read on at own risk.... or just read the prior entry titled off the deep end.

This morning I went off the deep end. I think I'm happy there. That can't be good, can it? The staffing in my department was cut this summer and then 3 weeks ago my supervisor went on Family Medical Leave. It's killing me. I think it would have killed me already except I had 3 excellent grad student workers assisting me. Only 2 of 'em left me this week so I'm down to 1 in the afternoons. I swear if one more person walks in and says to me... it seems quiet. I'm going to hand them one of my many research requests and say... I need this ASAP because so and so needs this ASAP. Thanks. The requests have been coming in about 2 an hour. That is also killing me. THEN on top of that we got in 2 new collections. One has 17 boxes, the other 8. Did either person think to give us a ring and say, "hey I'm sending something your way." Nope! I called one person back giving her the benefit of the doubt that she had tried to call my supervisor, who of course is out. She didn't call...what she said was, "oh in the future should I let you know first?" Excuse me but, "Duh!" Oh Oh, then I went over to the President's house. (he's a good man) and he wanted to know who the portrait was of hanging in his house. Yeah, I had no clue. Why did I have no idea, because I wasn't privy to that information when it left. Thanks boss... nothing like seeming stupid in front of the President.



I decided to do an Internet research on the drug I'm taking because seriously... something is just not right. It turns out my drug causes depression, weight gain, exhaustion, mood swings, (something you don't want to know), and hair loss. Out of those 6 side effects... I've got 5. So, at least I have something to blame everything on... Drugs! I'm back to my Rock, Paper, Scissors game. I guess I can stay on this drug, try something else that totally freaks me out, or go back to my old drug. If I go back to the old drug I guess that means I'll be going back to living a fourth of my life with a migraine. Right now, that seems the better option. But, I think that might just be because I've not been having as many migraines as I did before. I'm not happy with these options. It doesn't seem fair... but what I've learned over the last month or so is that what I want doesn't matter. I really knew that before... I'm just grumpier about it now.



Clearly, I'm having a bad week/month.



Anyway, this morning I went off the deep end. I came very close to just walking out. I think God must have somehow stopped me... I need my job. It's just a little overwhelming right now, not enough staff, no money for supplies, and stuff is coming in faster and faster and dirtier and dirtier... I don't know what I'll do if I get one more box of rat poop. I swear I might be the first archivist to lay down the law on what kind of condition I will accept people's life work in. Please people, take some pride!



S0 back to this morning... I had a patron in the collection who knew absolutely nothing about how to do research and 2 more ASAP research requests. As I roamed the closed stacks digging through stacks of crap... (and I mean that literally sometimes) I lost it. But, then after about 30 mins of craziness I think I came up with a plan. CLEAN UP THE CRAP! I wonder if my supervisor will be good with that when she gets back... I know, you'd think who wouldn't be?... but there are circumstances here that might be beyond my control so it sounds more doable than it might be. At the very least, it sort of feels good to have a plan. I've already got my lone student assistant left working on some of it. And, when I get another... guess what he is going to be doing. Long term projects are stopping and we are all going to be cleaning up the crap.... otherwise I think I'm doomed to eventually end up under my desk nonverbal... but then that could happen with or without the crap...it's sort of a toss up now.



OH OH but I must share this with you cause this sort of fits me right now... and my ability to do customer service. (only his attitude might be a little better) It's from a BBC show called Black Books and I'm loving it.

Soooo I'm still tired. I haven't been good at going to sleep this week.... not too bad, but not good. I need a vacation even though I just got back from the beach about 4 weeks ago... and I am still hating my ovaries. HATE THEM! Any questions? Probably not... but that's good. Doubt I'd answer. But seriously... oh, never mind... Anyway, I sort of feel I can make this confession because I'm thinking that at most 3 people read this... and they are all chicks. So, what does it matter.

On the other hand, I'm not all grumpy or depressed or anything... I'm still loving hanging out with my little niece and nephew. LOVE them! Monday night, picked up G (he's about 16 months old) he put his head on my shoulder and patted my back. What in life is better than that? NOTHING!

Oh and in my humble opinion, I make the yummiest green beans ever. Not the healthiest, but the yummiest... also, these are good for lazy people. Not a lot of effort. Good stuff. I fry 'em up in a skillet in butter, honey and garlic. Sound good? no matter, cause they are!

How's that from randomness?

I’m trying to become a better person. I really really am. How am I doing this? I’m trying to go to be earlier. I struggle so much with mornings. I truly hate my circadian rhythm. I know other people say they hate mornings… but on average most people seem to deal with it. I’m not one of them. I’m always late to work in the mornings… basically resetting my work schedule by an hour. This has become expected and so my supervisor does not care. But, I do. I hate it.
When I came back from Moldova my timing was all off. I was going to bed at 7:30 or 8 and getting up at 5:00. It was fantastic. I got so much done that way and I got to work on time and I got to leave work on time and it was fantastic…. But those times are gone. I am no longer doing that.

So Sunday I decided that’s it, I’m resetting my circadian rhythm. Is that officially possible, I don’t know. Anyway, I decided my new bedtime would be 9 p.m. I’ve put forth effort every night but every night I fail. Sunday night I made the mistake of starting the movie North and South (the BBC version) I’ve seen it before so I thought I’d have no problem turning it off. I was wrong. Once I saw Mr. Thornton… I knew I’d have to watch through at least the first DVD. So bed time on Sunday… 11:30. Not good. Monday night my effort was a bit stronger. T.V. was off by 9:30… (had to watch the 2nd DVD of Mr. Thornton.) Listen if you’ve seen that movie, you will understand. Wow! It’s good. I didn’t make it to bed until a little after 10 and I know I was asleep by 10:30. Still, I didn’t get to work until 9 the next morning. Tuesday night I made an effort again. I rewatched the last 20 mins of North and South twice because seriously, it’s yummy! Turned off the t.v. by 9. But, unfortunately I decided to internet stalk Richard Amritage for a bit. That took about 45 mins. My efforts were not for naught however because I found this very delightful bedtime story.




See, don’t you love him to0? Do you want to move to the U.K. with me so we can be closer to him? Even after seeing that video I made it to bed and asleep by 10:00. Good right… only I woke up at 2:00 and didn’t make it back to sleep until 4:30. So again… didn’t get to work until 9:00. I’ve almost lost hope. But, I’m not giving up. I must be a better person… or at least feel a little better about myself. I have to get a grip on this. I'm going to keep trying.

BTW there are other bed time stories by Richard Armitage... but I think I'll save them for later. Sigh. It's a good way to go to sleep.